I am BACK.
Although I never really left.
I had just put a piece of myself deep down into an internal dungeon. I did so for what I believe to be out of necessity. I thought that by being my full self, I could not achieve success.
The truth is that I could not achieve success in the environment I was in and rather than looking to change my environment, I chose to change myself.
The kicker?
It worked. I was able to play the game and thrive. Partly because I had some close friends who gave me an opportunity to be my full self from time to time. The other part? I am Gangsta at playing the game.
Now it’s been almost 6 months since I have been removed from being in the game and am not trying to figure out what game I want to play next. The beautiful part of not being in it is you have an enormous amount of time to watch others and reflect.
As I watch, reflect, and stress over what is next, I feel like that part of me, the part that was buried way deep down, has awoken. This is the part of me that did what people told me couldn’t be done. The part of me that was motivated by doubt or hate. The part of me that smiled at the outside world judging me, because I didn’t give a FUCK.
That part of me has been buried for so long. Fear of losing friends, fear of not being “liked” because it may cost me the next opportunity.
The reality? It got me further than I ever thought possible.
But to get to the next level? The next level of success that will be truly fulfilling, that part of me that was buried must be unleashed.
If I can’t be my creative self and my professional self as one, I don’t want any part in it. I have had multiple people tell me:
It’s confusing on your website to have photos and consulting?
How do I know what you do?
My immediate reaction was to hide and put that part of me back in the dungeon. I hid my photo gallery on the website, limiting it to one link on the third page of a crumb trail. I moved all my old blogs to DRAFT for fear that someone reading it could keep me from finding my next game to play.
But then I started to think. Is that a game I would even want to play?
We only have one visit to the theme park that is this life on this planet. Why am I continuing to choose to play the games that suck and cost me more of myself.
I am ready to retain what I have learned and continue hearing advice.
But I am also ready to switch it up.
I am ready to find MY next game.
And I am ready to continue inspiring those around me.
Buckle up, as I re-learn how to tamper constructive criticism. Meaning I don’t HAVE to change something just because someone tells me to, but I will always remain open to hearing what people have to say with an open, but convicted mind.
Where is this coming from, what was the final straw?
Full transparency, it’s resumes. There are thousands of people out there who are looking to help people find jobs. They get paid if they do. I know a lot of great recruiters and account managers who are kick-ass at their jobs. If there was one final best resume, you would think they would all use the same template.
But they don’t.
Do they all have success at placing people? Yes.
Does that mean that there is usually more than one right answer to a problem?
Definitely outside of math and sciences: YES.
So, I have been thinking to myself: stop constantly changing yourself in the hopes that you will find a game to fit into. Instead, I will be the best and most fulfilled version of myself and wait until I find the game that is meant for me.
Thank you to all those who have continued to support me from both near and far over the years.
Make sure to follow @RaphickeyDaLEO on all platforms.
X (Twitter), Instagram, Facebook,, Tiktok
I am excited for the future!
Urgo ~ aka DaLEO